3 Reasons Why I am Mourning the Loss of the Queen

3 min readSep 16, 2022

I won’t lie, I have shed a few tears since learning the news of the passing of Queen Elizabeth ||. The tears were unprompted, they seemingly came out of nowhere. Puzzled, I have been trying to figure out why I have been feeling so much sorrow.

It is not like I have met her.

I don’t think you can count waving at her amidst thousands of other school children at Ellerslie Racecourse when she toured my home country of New Zealand in 1986. I also don’t believe that catching a glimpse of her when she visited New Zealand again at the Commonwealth Games in 1990 holds much weight. And I am certain that I attended some sort of royal celebration during her Golden Jubilee when I was living in England in 2002 but not in her vicinity.

Other than being Head of the Commonwealth and hence of New Zealand, she did not have a direct impact on my life as such. For someone so famous, I didn’t even know that much about her.

So why the tears when I first learned the news? Why did an image of a rainbow over Windsor Castle set me off the other night? Why do I feel, strained, on edge, like something is missing?

Here are three reasons why I am mourning the loss of the Queen…

1) The Queen Has Always Been There

The Queen is one of the longest reining monarchs, notching up 70 years on the throne. Few people remember a time when she was not the Queen.

Here in New Zealand she is the ‘head’ on the heads side of all our coins and her face is on our $20 bank note. We celebrate a public holiday called Queen’s Birthday (which is not on her actual birthday) and look forward to her Christmas message each year. She visited here 10 times between 1953 and 2002. Although in day-to-day life I may not have thought of her much, her enduring presence was somehow reassuring.

Over time, and especially in the past couple of years with so much chaos and change, the Queen was a rock, a constant, a steady hand that could be relied on.

2) The Queen Represented Female Leadership

I also believe that I am simply mourning the loss of a strong, female leader. There are still not enough women in leadership roles around the world and to lose one of the key models of what female leadership represents is upsetting.

In every way, the Queen was the embodiment of a royal matriarch, the likes of which we won’t see again in our lifetimes. We now have Prince Charles, I mean King Charles ||| (this will take some getting used to), followed by his son Prince William and William’s son Prince George in the line of succession. Having to come to term with an age of Kings is not bad as such. It is just not, well, queenly.

3) The Queen Characterized a Certain Era

Much has been made of the Queen making a promise to a life of service and then keeping it until her death. This really shouldn’t be a big deal but in this day and age of distraction and bedlam, someone keeping a promise for their whole life is simply extraordinary.

The Queen was one of a kind, someone who knew exactly who she was and performed her role with a rare, quiet dignity. I realize now that am mourning the end of an era.

Rest in Peace

I am allowing myself to be in a state of mourning for the Queen as her passing means a loss of a constant presence, a strong female leader and a certain era.

Like others have said, I feel like a well-respected grandmother has passed away. I wasn’t ready for her to go just yet. I guess we never are.

Thank you Queen Elizabeth || for your grace and your service. May you now rest in peace.




Julie is an author, speaker and mama of two beautiful, tiny humans. Connect with her at JulieSchooler.com and find out how to rediscover your sparkle today.